"And then, why did you stop missing him? What happened?"
"It's you. It's you what happened." I just smiled at him.
All of you must be wondering what all this dialogue is about, right?. Well, someone whom I love so dearly asked me, why I've stopped missing and thinking about my ex-boyfriend, and that's the answer I gave, "..you what happened.", a simple answer that takes him months to figure out. "Why me?"
Experiencing puppy love at 16 years old, made me hope it would last eternally. But things sometimes didn't happen the way we hope they would be. And all this shattered dreams and hopes and fantasies make me realize that true love is hard to find, in fact impossible to be found. The feel that I felt, shattered when I was about 20 years old. He was cheating with other girls. Well, it's not a typo that I wrote 'girl' in a plural form, He's been cheating on me ever since the first time I knew his name. Ouch, now that hurts, huh? But it doesn't matter anymore.
"Do you still love him now? Hoping that he'll come back?" he asked, full of insecure.
"Now? It's impossible to forget the love you thought you'd have after all these years. But that's it. It's a lie if I say that I am completely healed. You're all that matter now."
I didn't even want to look at his face at that moment as the memories hurted me so much that I almost cried. It's hard, too hard to forget your first love. True. But in time we'll heal, especially when we know, there is someone else out there that will appreciate us more even better. It takes time, and when it's healed, we might still talk about the past, but that's it. A talk, nothing more.
"But then, you still keep all the things he gave you. The perfume, the card. Everything. The perfume. I know you still wear it, right?"
"Yeah, I keep his presents in the box, but I keep yours on the table so that I can see them everyday. I wear his perfume occasionally, but I wear the one u give everyday, even to bed."
We keep on clinging on the past. We keep all the presents, the cards, the chocolate wrappers, the movie tickets and even the price tag of his newly bought shirt. We keep everything, but where? It's no longer somewhere we will see everyday, it is somewhere somewhere. But what you give, love, we don't simply put somewhere somewhere. It's on the table, in the wardrobe, and even some under our pillow. Well, at least I still have the Lagenda Budak Setan movie ticket, which we watched long ago in my purse. And the perfume, it doesn't mean anything to me now, it's just a perfume.
"But then, why me?" Again he asked, confused.
"Because you is you, not him." And again, I smiled.
"It's you. It's you what happened." I just smiled at him.
All of you must be wondering what all this dialogue is about, right?. Well, someone whom I love so dearly asked me, why I've stopped missing and thinking about my ex-boyfriend, and that's the answer I gave, "..you what happened.", a simple answer that takes him months to figure out. "Why me?"
Experiencing puppy love at 16 years old, made me hope it would last eternally. But things sometimes didn't happen the way we hope they would be. And all this shattered dreams and hopes and fantasies make me realize that true love is hard to find, in fact impossible to be found. The feel that I felt, shattered when I was about 20 years old. He was cheating with other girls. Well, it's not a typo that I wrote 'girl' in a plural form, He's been cheating on me ever since the first time I knew his name. Ouch, now that hurts, huh? But it doesn't matter anymore.
"Do you still love him now? Hoping that he'll come back?" he asked, full of insecure.
"Now? It's impossible to forget the love you thought you'd have after all these years. But that's it. It's a lie if I say that I am completely healed. You're all that matter now."
I didn't even want to look at his face at that moment as the memories hurted me so much that I almost cried. It's hard, too hard to forget your first love. True. But in time we'll heal, especially when we know, there is someone else out there that will appreciate us more even better. It takes time, and when it's healed, we might still talk about the past, but that's it. A talk, nothing more.
"But then, you still keep all the things he gave you. The perfume, the card. Everything. The perfume. I know you still wear it, right?"
"Yeah, I keep his presents in the box, but I keep yours on the table so that I can see them everyday. I wear his perfume occasionally, but I wear the one u give everyday, even to bed."
We keep on clinging on the past. We keep all the presents, the cards, the chocolate wrappers, the movie tickets and even the price tag of his newly bought shirt. We keep everything, but where? It's no longer somewhere we will see everyday, it is somewhere somewhere. But what you give, love, we don't simply put somewhere somewhere. It's on the table, in the wardrobe, and even some under our pillow. Well, at least I still have the Lagenda Budak Setan movie ticket, which we watched long ago in my purse. And the perfume, it doesn't mean anything to me now, it's just a perfume.
"But then, why me?" Again he asked, confused.
"Because you is you, not him." And again, I smiled.
