Awak...

Awak...sye rindu..

Hari2, bangun dari tidur mesti sye pkir pasal awk. Sebab sye taw time sye baru bangun, awk mesti dah msuk kerja...Sye pkir, awak tgh serve sape? Dah breakfast ke? Sihat ke...?

Awak..sye rindu..

Hari2, sebelum tidur sye mesti berharap akan mimpikan awak. Sebab sye ingat, Ustaz Don cakap kalau kte mimpikan seseorang, tandanya org tu rindukan kte. Tapi selalunya takde. Awk x rindukan sye?

Awak..sye rindu..

Why Me?

"And then, why did you stop missing him? What happened?" 
"It's you. It's you what happened." I just smiled at him.

All of you must be wondering what all this dialogue is about, right?. Well, someone whom I love so dearly asked me, why I've stopped missing and thinking about my ex-boyfriend, and that's the answer I gave, "..you what happened.", a simple answer that takes him months to figure out. "Why me?"

Experiencing puppy love at 16 years old, made me hope it would last eternally. But things sometimes didn't happen the way we hope they would be. And all this shattered dreams and hopes and fantasies make me realize that true love is hard to find, in fact impossible to be found. The feel that I felt, shattered when I was about 20 years old. He was cheating with other girls. Well, it's not a typo that I wrote 'girl' in a plural form, He's been cheating on me ever since the first time I knew his name. Ouch, now that hurts, huh? But it doesn't matter anymore.

"Do you still love him now? Hoping that he'll come back?" he asked, full of insecure.
"Now? It's impossible to forget the love you thought you'd have after all these years. But that's it. It's a lie if I say that I am completely healed. You're all that matter now." 

I didn't even want to look at his face at that moment as the memories hurted me so much that I almost cried. It's hard, too hard to forget your first love. True. But in time we'll heal, especially when we know, there is someone else out there that will appreciate us more even better. It takes time, and when it's healed, we might still talk about the past, but that's it. A talk, nothing more.

"But then, you still keep all the things he gave you. The perfume, the card. Everything. The perfume. I know you still wear it, right?"
"Yeah, I keep his presents in the box, but I keep yours on the table so that I can see them everyday. I wear his perfume occasionally, but I wear the one u give everyday, even to bed." 

We keep on clinging on the past. We keep all the presents, the cards, the chocolate wrappers, the movie tickets and even the price tag of his newly bought shirt. We keep everything, but where? It's no longer somewhere we will see everyday, it is somewhere somewhere. But what you give, love, we don't simply put somewhere somewhere. It's on the table, in the wardrobe, and even some under our pillow. Well, at least I still have the Lagenda Budak Setan movie ticket, which we watched long ago in my purse. And the perfume, it doesn't mean anything to me now, it's just a perfume.


"But then, why me?" Again he asked, confused.
"Because you is you, not him." And again, I smiled. 

Saya suka lap hingus kat baju awak...boleh?

Hello Guys....and girls too

Yeah, from the title, obviously aku nak cakap pasal habit. Bad or good? Depends. Referring to Wikipedia, habits are routines of behavior that are repeated regularly and tend to occur subconsciously. So no matter what your habits are, memang tak boleh nak salahkan that particular person kenapa ada habit yang sedemikian, because this kinda thing happens subconsciously or dalam bahasa Malaywoodnya separa sedar, tak ada pahammmm?? Good.

Well, kita semua maklum, setiap orang kat Bumi ni unik. And what the heck yang buat each an every one of us weird unique? Your freaking-weird-what-on-earth-you-thinking-you-are-doing-habit of course. (Hamboiii, bukan kemain panjang kau ye..muahaha..)

Kalau korang perasan lah kan, especially guys yang tengah merenyam nak mengawan mengayat awek. Bila diorang mesej2, at the end of the sentence mesti ada "Huhu". Example :

(SMS)

Pakwe: Awk tengah mkn apa tu? Nak sikit bleyh? HUHU~

Makwe: Tak buley..tak buley..kte nak makan sowg2. Bia chubby2 nnt comey. ^^

Pakwe: Ala, bagi la cket, nnt bleyh kte chubby sme2, bwu cdap nak cubit2. HUHU~

Makwe: Namo2!~ Namo bagi awk jugak..^^

No offense, ni dialog bodoh yang aku reka sendiri. You see, usually time fasa ayat mengayat ni, si pakwe pasti akan banyak menggunakan HUHU. Sama ada untuk menunjukkan ke'excited'an sebab berjaya bermesej2 kurang faedah kepada awek ataupun menunjukkan rasa sedih sebab awek tu tak mahu berkongsi makanan bersama, sebab kukuhnya masih dalam kajian. Dan kalau korang perasan, dalam fasa ini jugak si makwe akan terkinja2 menggunakan bahasa yang "Alo2 tiut nye awak ni. suuwwwiittt ajee" persis kanak2 tadika yang tidak bergraduasi walaupun sudah berusia duapuluhlapan tahun. Dasar tahu tak  sedar diri langsung, bukan?

But, seriously memang tak boleh nak salahkan pakwe2 dan makwe2 gatal ni sekalian. Because for me it's a habit and it's abnormal by the way. Biasa lah, nak tinggalkan jejak kaki dalam hati sang gadis, haruslah ayat sedikit mengada2 supaya menjadi trademark,yes? And wajiblah si makwe2 sekalian membalas ayat mengada2 tu, dengan extra kegedikans+^^agar nampak "comeyls gitewww".

Aku penah jugak jumpa, and I think habit ni memang common gila; each time buat presentation in front of audience, mesti korang akan pegang2 hidung korang, muka korang tanpa hala tujuan. Bukan sebab gatal muka or hidung atau nak promote skincare product yang korang guna, just simply because korang "ter"buat lah kan. And kita sebagai audience kadang2 rasa macam "why is she keeps on touching her nose?" or maybe macam "Euuwww, you ni ada kurap kat muka ke asyik nak garu2?", sort of.

And for me, my habit sejak dua menjak ni is....jeng3....*sorry, kalau tetiba ada yang tergeli kan* ---> Lap hingus kat baju orang. *hey, it is a subconscious reaction, remember? I'm not aware of it...teehhhee~. Sekian terima kasih.

p/s: What's yours?